Stress, stress, and... oh yeah, stress.

Hellooo Blogging World!!!!
WORD OF THE DAY: STRESS.  Boy stress, friend stress, school stress, cheer stress, memory stress, self concsious stress, schedule stress, family stress, time stress, SO MUCH STRESS!!!! Holy crap i don't know if high school is what brought all this on me, but I'm pretty sure a quarter of my stress started before high school. Grr i need some aromatherapy A.S.A.P! Jeesh I never knew how stressed someone's life could get! I'm stressed about boys...(like I mentioned in my other blogs)... fighting with family, balancing my friendships(everyone wants to hang out but i just dont have enough time! I don't want to lose any friends though.. :/), the pain of memories is pretty stressful. I wish I could let go of the past but I just... can't. :P  And then there's the stress of school and my parents CONSTANTLY nagging me about homework. I swear they cant even look at me without asking about it... and taking an AP (college course) does not help.  You know what else doesn't help? Friend drama. When friends get upset or mad or whatever even if its not about me! It's stressful. And then there's the sheer exhaustion of being in cheer and not only being in cheer but being the captain of the cheer squad! It's sooo soooo sooooo frusterating and once again stressful when you're trying to practice and the girls turn around and talk and get out of line in between EVERY. SINGLE. CHEER. Have you ever tried to get the attention of a bunch of hyper, talkative girls who dont' want to listen to you? Yeah I pretty much just want to scream and yell and slap them all silly. This is why we don't get any progress done!!! They can't concentrate! Either that or they choose not too. They think they know the cheers but then once we get out there...its a lot scarier than you think. I don't want to look like an idiot because the girls around me don't know what they're doing.  And then comes the fact that the girls that were on my squad last year think they don't have to listen to me. Every time I start giving instructions, they look away and pretend like i'm only talking to the new girls like they already know what i'm about to say or they dont need to hear it because they know everything already. I mean, I get they don't want to be bossed around be someone their age/younger than them, but C'MON!!!! I'm their friend and it's really immature of them to be like that.  It's like they pretend im not even captain. I'm only trying to help them! They hate when I give them tips when they should be grateful! I give them tips so that they can show the new girls and be the best they can be. Once again... it just add's a lot more stress.  Plus, I have to cheer some Varsity games as well which is SO tiring I'm basically dead on my feet. That's really stressful too because usually my coach tells me last minute and then I have to organize all the details of rides and stuff and then learn all the stunting and the cheers (because theirs are a little different then ares and sometimes i have to learn a different ripple) in FIVE FLIPPIN MINUTES!!!! Holy crap one day I'm going to die of a heart attack.  I just wish people would realize how stressed out i am...a few days ago my friend tried to give me a back massage and she could barely do it. She was all, "HOLY F YOUR BACK IS SO TIGHT!" Yes, i know I'm tense. I've got a lot of knots too :/. Maybe its becasue of all the STRESS I'm under and no one bothers to give me a break or even a massage! ;) haha but seriously. I probably sound like i'm a snob and complaining for no reason but... don't judge till you've been there. There are other things adding to my stress as well... but this would be a book if I talked about those.  So I guess my point is... I'm really stressed out and stress is bad for your health.. (trust me my dad's in the medical feild).. and i wish my friends would notice and try to help stuff not stress me out. Because even though I'm strong, everyone's got a limit on how much they can handle and I'm afraid soon I'm going to break.
So on that happy note! Class is almost over and I better go... Addie and I are going to have lunch with Mrs. Smith (aka our awesome counselor) and hopefully she doesnt forget us again. I'll write later!

<3 Ella <3