Him

There's always a him.  For everyone.  Every girl out there has her him. 
When you find your him, you don't realize how much you need him.  How much you depend on him.
Or how much you'll miss him when he's gone.
I can barely go a second without thinking about him.  Without losing my breath.  Without breaking down.
I can't handle it.  I never thought I needed him. I never even knew how much it would hurt. But i never, ever, ever thought it would happen.  I feel empty without him.  He was my best friend. We never even really hung out.  Is this something else?  I just want to feel his arms around me again, and his shy chuckle and sweet comments. 

He was the least douchy guy in school.  Now he's the biggest. Someone help.

<3 Ella <3